I'm one of the people on the outside squishing the person in the middle. She doesn't deserve to suffer because of my screwed up brain and it is screwed up, very much so. I realized just how screwed up when last night I lay awake all night eyes closed brain racing. Semi-aware of my surroundings. It was like a part of me was looking at my brain from a distance and seeing that it is broken. Random thoughts, past, present future all mix creating chaos. I cannot deal with it most of the time. I think I need a good amount of some drug or another. Alot of people have suggested St John's Wort. I think i'll give it a go.