I have had a bit of a
epiphany in the last few weeks, spawned by many things. The most important thing that I realized is, sadly, a bit of a cliche:
Never look back.
Nostalgia. Regret. They seem so different, yet it has become obvious that they are two sides of the same coin. Nostalgia is the longing for or pleasant rememberance of the past. Nostalgia is for those who live in the past because it is more comfortable and pleasant than their own.
Regret is also for those who live in the past. However, they live there either because they did something so horrible that they obsess about it forever OR because the pain from the past is safer and more comfortable than possible future pain. After all, regret is at least a known evil.
Either way, one who lives with nostalgia or regret is not really living. They are dwelling on what has already happened, for fear of what might happen.
I refuse to do this any longer.
I may get hurt, but I will not retreat to the safety of the past, the good or the bad. I will not fear my real life so much that I fail to live it.
I won't live like this.
Neither should you.