I do not want a
relationship, either with a person I know or one I do now know yet. I
emphatically want to be single for an indefinite period of time. After three years of almost continuous
serial monogamy, I want some time to
myself. I want to be able to leave town on a whim and do nothing but leave a note for my rommates, telling them not to
worry. I want to be able to
flirt with the pretty boys and girls that I meet without guilt (this is, of course, assuming that I ever learn how to
flirt). I want to be able to make plans taking only myself into account.
However, I also want first kisses all the time. I want that scary, uncomfortable, exciting moment when you both realise that your lips are about to meet. I want the slight clumsiness that is present in all but the most chemically perfect first kisses. I want to touch my lips with my fingers hours later, marveling that what just transpired actually happened.
I want the first, most exciting moments of the relationship, complete with the racing heart and nervous stomache.
But I don't want a relationship.
*sigh* I think I always want the impossible.
I hate that.