I do not want a relationship, either with a person I know or one I do now know yet. I emphatically want to be single for an indefinite period of time. After three years of almost continuous serial monogamy, I want some time to myself. I want to be able to leave town on a whim and do nothing but leave a note for my rommates, telling them not to worry. I want to be able to flirt with the pretty boys and girls that I meet without guilt (this is, of course, assuming that I ever learn how to flirt). I want to be able to make plans taking only myself into account.

However, I also want first kisses all the time. I want that scary, uncomfortable, exciting moment when you both realise that your lips are about to meet. I want the slight clumsiness that is present in all but the most chemically perfect first kisses. I want to touch my lips with my fingers hours later, marveling that what just transpired actually happened.

I want the first, most exciting moments of the relationship, complete with the racing heart and nervous stomache.

But I don't want a relationship.

*sigh* I think I always want the impossible.

I hate that.