According to the Norwegian E2 noder registry, there are seventeen noders in the land that once had smalahove snack bars in London. Seventeen. That's not a lot of noders.

On January 9, 2003, about a quarter of the total noding population will meet in Oslo for a few hours of awkward silence and blushing under our 4-ply ski masks. Right Honorable noders of the world, I give you:

Meet me where the sun don't shine: The hideously cold January 2003 Oslo noder meet.

Where: Piece of Cake pub, Prinsens gate 22, Oslo, Norway
When: Thursday, January 9, 2003. 1900 onwards

How to get there
Piece of Cake is situated about fifty metres from Egertorget. From Egertorget, walk along Akersgata behind Stortinget and follow the tram tracks down Prinsens gate. Stop outside number 22 and walk in. A map and a picture of the building is at

A nodermeet without noders would be like just another day at the bus stop, so without further ado, here's the list of those who have expressed any interest whatsoever in meeting other people with strange hobbies:

The definites:

  • Lectrice: the noder who rents crappy videos to cheer herself up
  • SharQ: the half-bred Norwegian who travels around the world to hurt himself in interesting ways
  • toalight: the masochist who arranges nodermeets when everyone else is inside trying to keep warm
  • ugle: the person who told the world about Pizza Grandiosa, several types of historic mobile phones and Beisfjord-sjampis.
  • A not-a-noder with the name of Mayowa.
  • According to rumour, there will also be a super-sekrit mystery unknown person attending. We'll see.

The maybes:

  • slicer_ spent all his money on his girlfriend during christmas and is currently in the progress of hitchhiking the 1500 kms to Oslo. Will he surprise us?
  • Sverre might make it to the meet if he can think up a good excuse to leave the house for a drunken brawl with total strangers he met on the internet.

The wantedtocome-but-couldnots:

  • pylon thinks working his way on a steam plimsoll across the Atlantic is a bit of a stretch. Also, he hates brown cheese. We would probably have bought the poor New Yorker dozens of rounds anyway.
  • Carthag is currently serving Dannebrog, and have no intentions of creating a diplomatic crisis by turning up in a foreign uniform. We would have spit-shined his boots had he come.
  • nocte wanted to come but found out that beer-drinking scandinavians does not count towards the ASL final exams. I find that odd.

If you, for one reason or another (boredom will do), feel your presence is of utmost importance and want to come but cannot, just want to come, will definitely show up, will maybe show up or will definitely not show up, let me know about it. Nothing beats being downvoted by people you know the smell of.

Miscellaneous information
This nodermeet cannot and will not be postponed. Nor will the date change. The decision is final. SharQ is leaving the country and have required at least 36 hours to prepare for the airport book stalls at OSL. Also, pictures will be taken by our official daguerrotypist; SharQ. If you are having a bad hair day, please bring a recent mugshot so he can paste in your real hair afterwards. Major update: the official spoken language of the night will be English! This because of the native language of some of the attendants. Anyone caught red-tongued speaking Norwegian WILL BUY THE NEXT ROUND!

See you there.

It's over before you know it

I was spotted by Lectrice as soon as I entered Piece of Cake. Not many people go into pubs carrying cameras, and since taking unsolicited photographs had been a major point in the negotiations beforehand, my planned 007-like entrance was ruined.

Lectrice and ugle had already showed up, being well into their first drink. While I stood in the bar waiting for my 38.5 cubic inches of beer, Mayowa came in from the humid minus twelve degrees outside. Lagos is not like Oslo when it comes to winters. He told us that. Then, a few minutes past seven, SharQ and kjl staggered in front of the taps for their very own tastes of beer.

Oh, the beer. I am not making this up, but the pub had two kinds of beer on tap. One of them was the not particularly unknown Danish Tuborg. We all know what it feels like in your mouth and when the time is right for one. The other beer in the pub was more in the E2 vein. It's from a small-ish Norwegian brewery. The name?


That, dear noders, is not a joke.

Mayowa brought us up to speed on Nigeria, SharQ took some paparazzi-style pictures, Lectrice told us about life, death and Elvis clones in the Norwegian bible belt, kjl went on and on about all her invisible nodes, ugle had a fairly long rant on evil gods and the perils of node reparenting while I was constantly flashing my E2 merchandise. In the middle of everything, call fed SharQ's mobile with a best-of-luck message, and we all felt like part of the international jet set for a few minutes.

After a few hours around a too-small pub table, we were all thorougly Borged, and the breaking up started. The unmistakable body language that means "sorry folks, but I'm just too cross-eyed right now, and I gotta work tomorrow" is easier to spot in a pub than in the catbox, so we eventually got Borged without being borged. That's always a good thing.

Upon splitting we agreed that we had had a fine evening and that this was going to happen again. Here's to hoping that it will.

Just don't ask me how I am,
Just don't ask me how I am,
Just don't ask me how I am.
- Suzanne Vega