Some things grundoon taught me without really trying
I have often made mention of the fact that I grew up on E2. Having joined as a child, I was granted the amazing opportunity to be exposed to some seriously kick-ass lady noder role models as I grew. Ladies who somehow just knew when I had a bad day and were ready with e-hugs, ones who taught me the power of being a woman, ones who taught me that when you truly believe in something it's ok to take a stand, ones who pointed out to me when one of my relationships had tipped into being very unhealthy, ones who patiently walked me through the basics of writing - and many more besides.
I was lucky in that in these women I found a potent combination of mother, sister, mentor, and friend (whether they know it or not!). And grundoon fitted this description perfectly. It's funny how you can get such a sense of someone over pixels, even though you've never met in person. How you can love them dearly, care about their day, and shed tears over their bad news. It's a testament to both this site and the beautiful gift to us that was grundoon. And I would like to share with you some things that grundoon taught me without really trying, because they are lessons that changed my life for the better and I would like to remember them.
Grundoon taught me to call people out. I used to shy from conflict when someone had offended me until the day when grundoon came roaring to my defense and called someone out on their bullshit. Recently I was in a similar position (in real life), and remembering grundoon's lesson I was able to call that person out succinctly and effectively.
Grundoon also taught me that I have no natural ability to pick up on when guys are flirting with me (oops).
Grundoon taught me that a truly great person retains compassion for others, even when they are facing their own tragedy. She also taught me that there is humour in the worst of situations and that this is a beautiful way of looking at the world.
Grundoon taught me that it is ok to talk about death. It's perhaps a very Western thing to avoid discussing it, but the candidness with which grundoon spoke about her illness and treatments was humbling for me. Had it not been for these lessons I could not, when faced with a "meatspace" friend's death after a battle with cancer late last year, have been able to discuss his impending death without dodging around the fact or trying to convince him that he was not dying. Instead, remembering grundoon's candidness, I was able to understand that he really wanted to have someone just listen to him, and in the end was able to tell him the things I wanted him to know before he passed.
Finally, Grundoon taught me that love is amazing and enduring even in the face of overwhelming external circumstances. (Wertperch helped with that, too, of course!)
And I would like to thank her for being a mother, sister, mentor, and friend. Grundoon: I feel blessed to have known you in my own small way. You are greatly missed, wonderful woman.