Ask for a Refund

Cast (gender non-specific). Thespian: Voice tends towards a parody of Noel Coward, dressed casually. Bypasser: Wearing long overalls (brown prefered). set: bare stage

Thespian stands centre stage, hands in pockets, leaning forward slightly, looking intently directly into audience; an attitude that is kept for the entirety of the production.

Bypasser walks up to Thespian from stage right. turns to profile, facing thespian, faces are close together.

Bypasser: gestures to speak - opens mouth but is interupted...

Thespian: Sssssssssh! Thespian: Theres an exchange going on here! Bypasser: (suprised): Eh? Thespian: An exchange. You see all those people. (nods toward audience) They've paid good money for this. Bypasser: What you talking about? Thats just a wall. (loosely gestures to count the four walls) Thespian: Thats part of the exchange too. The fourth wall, its a kind of bonus, makes them feel they are seeing something they shouldn't. Bypasser: I wondered why you had your hands in your pockets. Thespian (quickly withdraws hands from pockets): Tut. I Meean... they get to see ME being someone that I'm not. (strikes a more heroic pose fists clenched) Bypasser: Really? Who aren't you today then? Thespian: puffing up chest: Today I'm not a famous celebrity... I mean I am. (said boldly with increasing doubt towards the end). Bypasser: And I thought you were Napoleon, at least thats what you said yesterday. (Thespian glances briefly at Bypasser frowning...

a short pause...

then resumes looking intently into audience). Bypasser: So this exchange thing, am I part of it too? Thespian: Nope, Just me. Bypasser: Aha.. I get it, the gate wasn't very good was it? Thespian: Have you read the reviews?

an awkward pause..

Bypasser: You finished? Its nearly dinner time. Thespian: Just the denouement to go and Its a done deal. Bypasser: Come on then. (Thespian relaxes and follows Bypasser as they both amble off toward stage left).

half way to offstage

Bypasser shouts: I'm going to tell the Warden you've sold that wall. Bypasser runs offstage persued by Thespian (who roars like a bear).


Tifrap - Brighton, England