Why can't I be sensible and go to sleep early?

Last night, I'm sitting in the conservatory at the back of the house - it's all spick-and-span now, thanks to the efforts of the wonderful delfick - nodelling away, I've watched the customary hour of Frasier, it's getting late, I've had some late night pita. I should go to bed. It's midnight, or thereabouts.

And I would have done, except I heard what sounded like Late Night Poker coming from the living room. Naturally, I had to watch it. Who wouldn't? And who could be strong enough of fibre and will-power to leave when the master reader Dave Colclough is battling for a place in the final?

Not me, that's for sure. So, I didn't sleep till 3 a.m. Which meant missing the early bus, which meant being late for my meeting, although this didn't stop me from turning on the George Costanza meeting wit. I expect I was over-compensating.

And, of course, I'm even more tired than I was yesterday, so I'm at the vending machines all day, sucking up the coffee pipes, smoking two at a time, but not before 1 o'clock (day 56, and I'm beginning to wonder what the next stage of NIRP should comprise...), happy not to have any meetings in those small rooms where you just know they're deliberately raising the ambient temperature to your specific sleep capacity. (My propensity for sleep at any time: I once fell asleep during my work experience. I was in a meeting with only one other person at the time.)

I'll be tired all week, I'll go out friday, shimmy the night away, and sleep the clock around.

I can't help it, I just love being awake when no-one else is. I like staying up all night sometimes, just to be around when it's suddenly light again, when the sun is back, or getting up early and being the only one doing something. Or staying up late, and doing things most people wouldn't think of pre-dawn, probably just so I can say to myself that I chose to be there doing that, no-one else did. Besides, it doesn't hurt that because no-one else is doing it makes it probably the coolest thing to be doing right then. Anywhere.

You know, smokers metabolise caffeine twice as fast as non-smokers do. I think that justifies buying another coffee. Right now.