English footballer who eminates from a annexe of Britain known as Geordieland, where people talk funny, drink Brown Ale and go out on the toon on a Freedeey neet in the middle of winter wearing only a T-shirt (and trousers, obviously).

During the height of his career was a formidable footballing talent, but like Vinnie Jones is better known for his off the pitch antics, such as donning "comedy" plastic boobs and getting lashed. Also famously cried at missing a penalty in the World Cup.

Has done more for England's reputation as a country full of backward yobs than almost anyone else - The Bernard Manning of Football.

This nodeshell rescued in the name of Blighty