There is only one person
on this, God's great earth
, who can stand up and say:
"I have publicly farted at Micheal Jackson"
and that person is Jarvis Cocker.
For those of you unfamiliar with the classic incident, here's the story:
During the BRIT Awards (Annual British Music Awards), Jackson was performing one of his more nauseating "Oh please, will someone think of the children" songs, wearing a torn white costume and trying to look like Jesus, while loads of stage school brats pranced around behind him on the stage attempting to adopt the manner of slum children from a war-torn / famine-riddled country.
Evidently Jarvis, like many of us, could stand the hypocrisy no longer. He delighted the nation, and the Tabloids in particular, by vacating his seat and invading the stage to do a theatrical farting action, which he then wafted over the Prince of Pop in a most humorous fashion.
Legend has it that when Jackson's lawyers tried to have him down the police station for it, he, in his haste, comandeered friend and fellow 'biz personality Bob Motimer, of Vic and Bob fame, whose primary profession is law, to defend him.
I believe that the notion of suffering further ridicule and indignity in the press persuaded the strange one to drop the case flee England in shame.