The Gazelle's Diary

My day in Bridget Jones style numbers:

No. of visits to the fat and spot inducing chocolate / crisp vending machine: 2 (below average)

No. of trips to the body-purifying water cooler: 0 (average)

No of sightings of The Whores (0 as yet, but they don't open until mid-morning, and I've been at work)

No. of fake expense reports submitted: 0 (official statistic)

No. of management eyes watching my every move: 2 (half the usual number)

No. of nodes completed: 3 (above average - see management statistic)

No. of fags smoked: 3 (1 as reward for each node)

No. of offers received to turn The Gazelle's Diary into a film starring Hugh Grant as a posh-yet-endearing Englishman who gets the girl in the end: 0 (Disappointing)

No. of nodes written in reply to my Stop this mobile phone "amusing" novelty ring madness node while I was typing this: 2 (impressive)