Say you're sitting down by the water just kind of sunning
yourself, just kind of
drinking in the earth and sky and
existence,
conserving energy, floating down the
Slackstream; and your eyes move to follow the path of a
747 passenger jet across the sky -- but as you watch,
flames burst out of the
plane's engines and smoke stains the sky and the plane falls
into a
screaming dive, and it's heading straight for the
water a hundred metres out in front of where you're
lounging -- my god the sea will be coated with
blazing aviation
fuel and
exploded luggage and horrendous shattered corpses
and
twisted chunks of fuselage! But
at the last possible
minute the plane pulls out of its dive and levels out,
coasting only ten meters above the surface of the water . .
. and then the back doors on either side of the plane blow
out and those big yellow
emergency-exit slides inflate and
touch the water, and then about twenty beautiful
air
hostesses slide down the exits on both sides, and they're
all holding onto ropes and wearing waterskis, and they
proceed to carry out
the most incredible team-waterskiing
performance you have ever seen, complete with
daring and
spectacular acrobatics, as they're pulled along by the
plane, the engines of which are still
flaming and smoking
dramatically, and all the while the air-hostess stunt-
waterskiiers are smiling their
perfect immaculately-white-teeth smiles; and then at the end of their performance they
form a
human pyramid about five levels high, and on top of
the head of the air-hostess at the top of the pyramid,
they've balanced a long
table which is all decked out with
candelabras and crystal glasses and wine and silver trays of
pork and roast beef and plates of salad and all kinds of
delicacies, and sitting at the table are about ten couples,
all dressed in
elegant tuxedos and exquisite evening gowns
and they're all eating and
talking casually and
joking
amongst themselves and sipping their wine
as if nothing
unusual is going on, as they balance at the top of the human
pyramid of stunt-waterskiing air-hostesses who are trailing
behind the flaming 747. And standing on the table, right in
the middle, is
you -- which is weird because you thought you
were watching all this from the shore - and
you're holding a
chainsaw like it's a guitar and enthusiastically trying to
play it. And then suddenly the 747 just flies straight
upwards, like vertically, and all the air-hostess
waterskiiers and people in formal attire hold on to their
ropes as the plane continues to fly upwards, but soon they
start to let go, one at a time, and they each
plummet to the
water one by one, but halfway through their fall they each
explode in
a huge dramatic fireball which shoots off chunks
of flaming shrapnel, some pieces of which land near you on
the shore. Meanwhile the 747 is still climbing, flying
vertically upwards until it's just a pinpoint in the sky and
then you can't see it at all, but at that moment it too
explodes in a beautiful
fireworks display, and the fireworks
spell out in
vast upper-case letters:
'THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK'