Hello! You’ve gotten into Regency Hills!
Notice that you’re living in a different environment than you’re used to have. There are trees, there are birds, there are animals that aren’t rat
s or cockroach
es. There are also new people.
So, let’s talk about the outdoors.
Skunks, raccoons, and the occasional fox: consider them neighbors. They’re neither pets, nor are they aggressive. UNLESS you try to get near them. Mostly, they have their own agenda: that is, eating from the dumpster. Don’t try to pet them, they won’t understand. Don’t freak if you see them, just let them be and they’ll be good as a talking point at work. Understand: I used to live with a baby raccoon, who slept in my bed at night. And was infected with pneumonia by a a mom, who nested in my stored bedding. So let them go, unless they get too close.
The Turkeys: let them be, unless you a) have a gun that might take one down, b) know how to pluck and field-dress a turkey, and c) are about to cook and eat them. They’re kind of tough and stringy, anyway, and they eat garbage. They’re fun to watch, though.
Crows: We’re heirs to the SCSU Flock (“The Murder”), which I’ve known from the late 80’s on. DO NOT CROSS THEM. They’re the avian equivalent of a youth gang, in that if you do anything to annoy them, you’ll always be in their radar. Believe me. Otherwise, they aren’t any kind of witchcraft, unless you like the game of “Counting Crows”. (Some are actually friendly!)
Hawks: they eat things worse than they are. They have a flight pattern that makes your heart sing. Watch them, and enjoy.
Miscellaneous small birds:
Sparrows are everywhere. They’re not native, but they’ll eat anything. They love nonlethally fighting each other. Kind of cute.
American Thrush Robins: also cute, fearless and harmless. Lays blue eggs. Eats worms.
Blue Jays: Loud and bullying, they’re the clowns of the bird world. Put out seed, and they’ll boss any other kind of bird off your feeder. Except…
Northern Cardinals: We have a mated pair. They have a nest in the area, and their young un’s are often preyed upon.Incredible singers. So be nice to them.
Spiders, Preying Mantids, and Centipedes: Welcome them. They’ll only eat what’s worse than them. So if you see them, be happy!
Carpet beetles: tiny, yet deadly…to your clothes. They’ll eat holes in wool, silk, your favorite T-Shirt. Never leave your clothes on the floor.
Pets: Sorry, dog lovers, this isn’t the place for you. Doubly so, Pittie Pats. Yes, I know, they’re the cutest, gentlest, most maligned creatures on God’s Green Earth. They bark, they smell, they have to be led walks, and they crap everywhere. (As well as other problems…) If you have a problem with that, move elsewhere.
Kitties: Sorry, no pets. Consider them the gateway drug of pets.
Birds: Canaries are better here than Parrots, or Macaws. They’re smaller, cleaner, and have a lot of attitude. They also make nice noises, and get stoned on hemp seed.
Feeding birds: Make sure your downstairs neighbors agree.
Fish, Reptiles, Spiders, and others: Probably your best bet.
The Sky: We often have jets over our airspace. They might have contrails. I came from an aerospace family, we know what they’re spewing out: mostly CO2 and water. Unless you're vehemently against greenhouse gasses, you're safe. We can see Radio Towers Park from here. Those are the red lights on the Eastern horizon.Take a visit to the site, you'll find it awesome. And not coincidentally, SSI will occasionally cross over our airspace. It looks like a big plane, and moves faster. Give it a wave!
Now we get to the tough part. We’d like you to think of this as being as your home. My grandmother was a first generation American, and loved her new home in the New World, respecting the home she’d been given. My grandfather was an Old Yankee, with some Native blood. So let’s all live as if our parents are watching. If you treat this place as if you own it, that is, are paying for property maintenance, and don’t want the cops to come by, the better it is for all of us.
Refuse: OK, some people have other people take their garbage for them. Other people put their garbage out in the hall and just let it go. Don’t be the latter.
Vices: Don’t smoke. Sorry, but it’s in the rules. If you’re addicted, go outside. This goes for Hemp and Coca, as well. (We won’t snitch.) As long as it doesn’t smell, and you can pay for it, that’s not our business. No smoking in the stairways.
Noise: A big problem. Keep your fights in your units. Doubly so on Sunday mornings, some people are getting ready to pray!
The parking lot. Not a place to party, especially late at night. You might think people are sleeping, but they’re often not.
Love thy neighbor as thyself, unconditionally. This means even if they don’t look, sound, think, or worship the same day you do. As Superman once said: bigotry is un-American. Let's keep this house ALL-American. (True story.)
And in the words of my own faith:
Let us all work
to bring about a time when
“Do what thou wilt,
shall be the whole of the Law,
For Love is the Law,
Love under God’s Will."