This might seem too subjective to talk about, but in the interests of changing peoples' attitudes about the mentally ill, I feel that this might work out...

Would someone please date my friend Ken?

Ken is my friend. He's a paranoid schizophrenic. That doesn't make him a bad person, however. He likes flying saucers, and paints pictures of them. No, he isn't violent or anything like that...the only person he's ever tried to hurt was himself, and that was many years ago. He's on meds, and is quite stable. So won't you date him?

What you get: Ken. A middle-aged, slightly paunchy (but well-preserved) soft-spoken, unfailingly polite adult white American male. He's got a car, and enough money to take you to a casual-to-nice restaurant, a movie, and dancing.(SSI + commissions from paintings - zero living expenses add up.) He's got a great reputation with most dance clubs around, so you'll always get in...maybe for free! (He dances pretty well, too.) He likes science fiction, too, and is well-known as a painter...if you ever wanted to visit a gallery opening, rubbing shoulders with High Society, he's your man. He doesn't mind if you drink, though he doesn't, much...if you get drunk, he'll drive you home...He's quite the youngest 45-year-old I know.

What you won't get: He won't form some strange neurotic attraction to you, and call you at work. He's not want "safe", that he is. (He's easy to outrun, in any case.) Unfortunately, he's not much on conversation...which is why he's having a hard time finding company. Mostly, it's not that he doesn't talk, it's just that he doesn't talk about much beyond his own little planet, plus some art stuff. Coincidences, conspiracies, aliens... It does get boring as a steady diet. His apartment is usually a little messy, and it is kind of small. But he's a nice guy, dated sparingly. So won't you please date my friend?

Added plus: in bed, he's a tiger, and "excellent" besides. You'll have the night of a lifetime, and be able to boast about how you made love with a madman for years to come. (Apparently, neither the disease nor the meds affect "the other head"...he once apologized for "only" making it three times. )

So won't you please date my friend Ken?
We'll all be so grateful.