Does anyone care what's hidden in your world? For my own part, I don't think so.
What is the compulsion to share your darkest thoughts? I've got plenty to spare, but not to share. Your despair is a luxurious blanket of self-indulgence, woven by the world's efforts at optimism. Don't think you're unique, you just haven't figured it out yet.
What is really wrong with society? Nothing. Everything is working out just as it should. Those little unspoken pressures keep things flowing. In time you will learn to mold your rebellion into progression. The difference between what you believe in and what you espouse is in the Why, not the How or What or especially the Who. Everyone must learn this eventually or face a menial existence.
The secret is that thoughts have power, words have more power, and actions have the most power. If you can't always control your thoughts, you can at least control your words and actions. In turn you affect others thoughts, and with discipline and a little luck even your own.