Wait, you mean I’m supposed to be ready for this now?
It was just a few months ago that I was a kid, going through the motions of high school without anything more than a fleeting thought about the future. I just went through the motions, got mediocre grades, and trudged on.
Then they dressed me up in a purple muumuu, marched me across a stage, and handed me a nice little piece of paper. Isn't this the part where they tell me what to do next? I’m still waiting.
I don’t mean to sound directionless. I’m going to college in a month, majoring in Philosophy and Religion (I have a strange love for the more intangible bits of humanity, I admit). I would like to go to law school eventually, if they’ll have me. I have a lovely girlfriend, and we’re even headed to the same school. I think I am in love for the first time in my life.
And yet every time I allow my mind to wander, it drifts invariably to the unknown. I worry about living alone for the first time, about meeting my first roommate. I worry about being able to handle my classes, indeed even about making it to class on time. I worry that my only escapes from worrying are my girlfriend and my books. I have taken to sleeping with the light on.
Is this how I am supposed to feel? Will I get over it? Am I supposed to know what to do now? Who the hell put me in charge? I wish over and over that I had the answers to these questions as I prepare myself to jump haphazardly from my safe little cliff and tumble into the dark expanse of adulthood. Here goes nothing.