You were made
Before I knew of you
Long after I ever gave up thoughts of you
And there was a dream I put into your code,
In your makeup
Upsetting the balance of everything
In our lives.
You’re the dream I have at night
The could-be that wakes me - sweating cold-
to sit up awake until 4 am.
In your eyes
I can see something that will never be
I dream of you.
But I can’t see your face anymore
It's only a dream, anyway
There isn’t enough left to make up the room
Or paint you pretty pictures -
Or teach you how to read -
You were just a bellyful of wishes
A dream we didn't mean to conceive.
A night where we played in the sand
A sandcastle washed away in the sun
Windswept away - into vapor.
And I don’t know if it was time or trial
That made the final decision
And I don’t know if you exist anywhere but my thoughts
Is it just punishment to know you’re not here?
That you never were - never will - never will.
Are you under my pillow tonight, little one?
Are you a boy or a girl?
Do you know why you’re not here?
Can you explain it to me someday?
A dream can go from bliss to nightmare
Even after the years without you I still wonder what you would be like.
Yours is a life never known - now lived in my head.
It was just a dream
And you were just a bellyful of wistfulness.