And in my darkest moment, feeble and weeping
The moon tells me a secret, a confidant
As full and bright as I am
This light is not my own and
Familiar light reflections pass over me
The source is the light and endless sheen
The source that makes the hole black
Without her, we are lifeless satellites drifting

The Saga Continues...

She messages me daily. We talk often, and she often initiates the conversations. I don't know how to take that; does she like to talk to me, does she like me at all? And if so, how much? Maybe I just have to stop moving my mind towards what I want to think. Maybe I should stop moving at all, and let the currents take me where they wish.

It was a lonely holiday. No girlfriend this time. Everyone had their significant other, except me. It was tough; for once, I lacked someone hanging on my arm, a beautiful girl to introduce and smile for me. Instead, my eyes did double duty, scanning the room for someone breathtaking, and making sure my lonely nature didn't shine out like a lighthouse, attracting all the other lonely vessels on the sea.

Char leaves me excited and happy, incredibly happy. I haven't felt it in a long time, and it's time for me to make something of it. We're going to spend time together after the new year starts, probably early January. This is my chance to see if happiness is within my reach, or if it's something I've been imagining for too long. Through all the pain and suffering, all the deliberation and planning, I am realizing something that never occurred to me before: we have no control. I had no control falling for Char, and I hope I cause her heart to spiral as mine does. Of course, this time, I won't try to make it happen. Hopefully, it just will.