Some of you
Baltimore folk may want to know how to
earn that title of
Balti-moron. Well, my friends, I'm here to help you out, by imparting on you a bit of wisdom that I had to learn
the hard way:
I don't know if you guys participate in
Oriole-Mania, back in the day at the luxurious
Memorial Stadium (isn't that a parking lot now?) or at the present day food-fest of
Camden Yards, but if you do, you certainly know the drill about the
Star Spangled Banner.
For those of you who don't, in Baltimore, we like to scream "O!" at the top of our lungs, instead of just singing a mellow little "oh..". At that part of our Anthem that's like "Oh, say, does that Star Spangled Banner yet wave?" Hey, man, we've got that American spirit. We like to
annunciate the vowels in our national songs. Any excuse.
But what I might be able to save you from finding out the hard way is that
people in other cities do not scream "O!" in the Star Spangled Banner. That's right, it's just a Baltimore thing. And let me tell you, out of experience, people in
Boston give
really weird looks to the guy in the stands who screams "O!" at that pivotal point in the
national anthem before the
Red Sox game.
You will surely look like a
purebred Balti-moron. And while I have only attempted this
strategy in the perma-construction site of
Boston, I'd bet my last
soft-shelled crab that it works all over this great country of ours.
Actually, a question: do they sing the Star Spangled Banner before an
Expos game? Or do they have some kooky
Canadian song? Anyways. Good luck!