Why is it that when a guy comes up to a girl and she is rude to him a.k.a. "Go away," and she states that she is not interested, his only comeback that he can conjure up at that time is, "What? Are you, like, a lesbian?" I swear to God.
So this guy comes up to us at Fox and Hound (Sports Bar) while my two girlfriends (not lovers)and I are playing pool. His opening line, "Are you girls playing for money? If you're not this is a bull shit ass game." Yes those were his exact words. I then say, "Thank you for that, you can go now." This kid weighed less than I do and I think he might have been shorter than me which at 5'3" is pretty hard to do if you are guy. He needed a hair cut desperately and he was not in the least bit attractive. Not that he was ugly or anything, but he was nothing to write home to momma about. I have no clue what his name is b/c if he told me, I wasn't listening. He kinda reminded me of a character you might see on a Charlie Brown special so I am going to call him Linus.
So Linus calls me uptight. Whatever. I guess you are uptight if you just want to be left alone. It would have been different if he wouldn't have been a dick walking up. How does he want me to respond to that? Then he says, "I just want to talk to you." And I say, "Sorry the feeling is not mutual." This mother fucker never went away. So I finally say, "look, you have absolutely no chance with any of us, please go away." And then Linus says, "What are you all lesbians or something." YES, OH MY GOD YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING GENIUS!!! The only reason we could ever have for not wanting to talk to you or hook-up with you is that we are rug munchers. Way to go Linus. I'm sure Peppermint Patty would be so proud that your gaydar is on point. Mother fucker. So I say to Linus, "No we are just not interested." Then this cocksure cartoon lookin' bastard says, "So I am not getting laid tonight? You could be missing out on the best sex you've ever had." I let him know that that is just our loss and would he please go away now.
He never went away. He sat there by himself being ignored by all three of us for the next 20 minutes and finally walked away. From the looks of it, I think he was there by himself. We thought he was with the table next to us, but he wasn't or at least they weren't claiming him.
So Linus if you are out there, please continue your search for the Great Pumpkin b/c you are not finding it in these pants.