Stick your finger up its butt.

No, really. I was told this by a master of strange factoids, Chuck Palahniuk. Yeah, the guy who wrote Fight Club. Apparently that's just about the only way to get those big guys with the locking jaws off. Shove a finger as far as you can up its butt. The dog's jaws will unlatch and you can either run or kick it. I guess it shocks the dog enough, as long as the dog hasn't had this pulled on it several times before (or has a rather icky owner). I'd believe him about this. The thing for fixing bullet holes in Survivor works.

After further discussion with a few people over /msgs and in the catbox, I have determined that it is unwise to be attacked by a dog. Don't do it. You have been warned.

2001.11.16@02:13 ameoba says I guess when you have a flesh-eating beast attached to you by its teeth is no time to experiment..

2001.11.16@04:54 disgruntledwren says Well, the thing is that attack dogs don't bark. That's why it's scary. If you're in someones backyard and all you hear is like the dog breathing in before it takes a chunk out. Not many things will help there. They're trained to rip out the neck

2001.11.16@04:57 disgruntledwren says They do that for government compounds too. So I hear anyway. I had a doberman. I can attest that even untrained they're incredibly dangerous. I think some hotels might have them. More out of country. Because of legality and all.

Much thanks to disgruntledwren for further info.