After a few days on E2 it became my policy that if I wrote a daily log writeup it would be under the current day's log according to server time. Still, it sort of throws me sometimes, like just now, realizing that for some people, Saturday is already well under way.

Anyway, today was, umm, so-so. Jay left for her 3-day retreat thingey at the Zen Center. It's the end of the "Practice Period", which is this several weeks of intense Zen study and stuff, with classes and ceremonies and stuff. I don't know close to everything that it entails. You pick a precept to work on. You have tea. And at the end you stay silent for week, or for people like Jay who actually have to work, just a couple days.

Sometimes I think she will just pass me up. She will gradually beomce wiser and wiser, until, say, 10 years from now she'll be like a super-enlightened being, a monk or something, and i'll by comparison be this coarse, crude, unspiritual person still. That is, if we're still together. We've been together 10 already so part of me thinks, what's another 10? Another part of me thinks there's no possible way in hell. That would be, umm... 20 years. That would beat my parents, at least.

So anyway, today I had all to myself, and will tonite and most of the rest of the weekend. With her not around I enjoy myself, in a way, I feel more free, but also more lonely, and kind of un-centered. Like I might just float off into some pathological never-never land without her to hold me down.

Accomplishments today: spoke to josé about the South to the Future server we are going to build, and the finances associated with running it. Had lunch with him and ben and katherine. Katherine is very cool. Ben is writing a sit-com, and one of the characters is based on Katherine's ex-boyfriend, a heavy metal fan. She notices immediately when he starts describing him. Later she emails us all and asks:

you're not starting a sitcom with some giant hairy gaijin celphone wielding phd-bearing .com loser chick who never stays through lunch, I hope?

After lunch I tweaked and horked my home page on I didn't like it anymore. I want it to be leaner, more spare and "designed", instead of this big jumble of text. But I don't have enough time to make it look that nice. I ended up only do half the job before I had to leave my studio. At least I added the crucial info, like the fact that I need people to donate money to me, lots of it, so I can fly to Australia and speak at this festival which can't afford to pay my airfare. So, uh, please go to and click that little donate link and gimme gimme. ha ha. no really. It's true. just a little. i'll send a free copy of my CD to the first 10 who donate. It has to be at least 10 bucks, tho. ok?

Okay so then I went to the post office and sent a package to that same festival, with press promo stuff and some CDs. Then I went looking for a travel agent place I could use my Southwest Airlines gift certificates so I can go to Portland in a couple weeks. No one will take them, or they'll charge me a dumb stupid fee. So I think I'll just BART out to the airport tommorrow and buy the freakin' tickets there. no big thing.

So, uh, now it's friday night but I don't feel like doing anything. I'm just going to drink Newcastle and watch a video, a Japanese psychothriller called Angel Dust. Wow, I just realized, Newcastle is also the name of the town, near Sydney, where this festival is. I wonder if that was some kind of subconcious thing, that I bought Newcastle. No, I doubt it, I just like that beer. I had it first when I was in Brighton last year, introduced to it by someone who was from Newcastle, and I bloody well liked it. So I'm drinking it. That is all.