This is tough
. I can't decide whether it's
I love you
, or whether to break it down
further into I want
or I need
- I love you:
This is scary both to say, and to hear.
To say it requires one to be totally naked
to another person. It is a stripping down of
defenses. You are risking the fact that s/he
may not love you back. You are risking your
dignity(which you may have lost already, in
which case ignore this.)
To say this
requires some sort of recklessness and abandon
or maybe just intense emotion: I love you, you
mean everything to me, I'm yours.
To hear it is to confront a need that you don't
know if you can fill. This person is entirely trusting
of you and doesn't mind being defenseless. It gives
you a power you don't know whether you want. It gives
you a responsibility you may not be able to cope with.
It makes you confront yourself and examine the sentiments
beating in your breast. Or the urges that drive you.
It is a moment of truth when you must either respond
in kind, or figure out what it is if it's not love.
- I want/need from you
Can you give this person what s/hewants? Will you be able to satisfy his/her desire?
This includes physical, emotional, financial, etc.
This is the hardest part of love.
Needs cannot be ignored. Desires may be stifled
or accomodated, but needs must be fulfilled. Can I give
you what you need? And even scarier to confront: Can
you give me what I need? I have just stripped
bare and told you that I love you, but have I set
myself up for disappointment?