Last night, while I was sitting at my desk, I was startled my a huge thud and a crash outside. I jumped up and saw that the trellis below had been broken. ...pieces of it were swaying back and forth. I thought someone was trying to climb up to my balcony, so I grabbed a knife and went to the screen door. Just then, Woosh! BOOM! A huge potted plant flew from above and shattered on the porch below. Then a sack of dirt, some glass dishes, and other assorted stuff started to rain down.

I called up to the balcony above: "Linda? LINDA?"

All activity up there froze. There was no reply.

"Is everything alright up there?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." she replied weakly.

Then the barrage continuted. More heavy objects bashed the trellis to bits.

There was a pause in the destruction, and then Linda screamed,




(She went on like that for a while)

She was pleading by this time. "WHERE IS MY CRYSTALLL?" "ORLANNDO! PLEASE WAKE UPP!!"

More stuff began to fall and crash. I was getting really freaked out. I pictured a man named Orlando, dead of Crystal Meth overdose somewhere in the apartment above me. I heard a siren. Then a police officer was calling up from below. I went back to the screen door, and he pointed his flashlight in my face.

"What's the problem?" he asked.

Not wanting to get involved, I simply pointed upwards. He directed his flashlight there and started speaking to Linda.

"Mamn, what's wrong?"

"NUUTHIIIINNNNNG." ,she replied, in a crazy, fucked up voice that I can't convey in text.

"I'm coming up, OK?" he asked.

"OKAYY, but nothing is wrong!" she said.

Silence. A short while later, the cop had left. I guess she was telling Orlando (our city) to wake up and help her find her crystal, and there was no dead guy named Orlando. I felt better.

The ground below my window is a disaster area. I sure hope they don't try to blame this mess on me!

So there's the 411 for you. Watch out for falling flower pots!