So, you're single and the monstrous orgy of red and pink hearts and all things fluffy is drawing near. Panic starts attacking you a month before - you can hear its voice from everywhere: "It's going to be the happy happy happy day of St. Valentine, on which no-one should be single," the voices say. "It's such a shame not to have that special someone on the fourteenth day of February," they say. But alas, you know that, against all the odds and despite da desperate attempts to get a date, you're going to be - *gasp* - single on that very day.
Despair creeps in, gloomy thoughts swirl in your head; you feel worthless, maybe even contemplating sui-, homi- or some other form of -cide.
But fear not - it's
to the rescue! The march aims at pointing out the pointlessness
of the V-Day, providing the singles with something meaning(full|less)
to do, spreading the FUD
, and generally having fun. Besides, who knows - maybe you might meet
somebody during the march, be it a participant or a passer-by.
What you will need
- Being single. That's pretty self-explanatory.
- Several like-minded people. Let's face it: doing a one-person march might hold some value for the participant, but is likely to go unnoticed.
- Signs, banners, leaflets, what-have-you - to show and/or distribute to passers-by with the intent of raising the public awareness of the singles' plight.
As far as the messages
go, anything does; from problematizing the event itself - "Say NO to Valentine's Day," "We want a Singles' day" - to simply declarative "I'm single" to blatant self-advertising
- "Do you want me?" "I'm single and seeking - are you too?"
Hopefully, even if this doesn't help you hook up with somebody, and while it may not help to get your thoughts off the fact that you are single, it will help you take a positive attitude on your singleness. Wait, exactly whom am I kidding?
A Real-Life™ Example
, the march shall take place in Prague
, Czech Republic
. Starting from the horse statue at Wenceslas Square
at 6:30 PM, it shall continue through downtown Prague for as long as the participants feel like it. It won't be an evening-news scale event: some 10-odd
people, maybe 20 at most, will march - but we'll be going for quality, not quantity
;o) Updates to this w/u will follow as soon as I can make them.
Although I'm aware that Prague doesn't really have a strong e2 userbase, should you be around at the time, you would be welcome to participate in the march. The only condition (which has been settled after a lengthy and very heated debate) is: no couples are permitted to march, despite them sympathizing with our plight. The motto of the action is, after all:
The couples may seek tenderness in laying down, but we shall seek it in the snow.2
The Prague branch of the march (as I hope this idea might spread to other places - a distributed march!) is organized by Desir, which is a flash-mob/city game group. Their pages reside at http://www.desir.cz/about.php.
Altogether some 12 people showed up for the march, all with signs and/or balloons. The texts ranged from declarative ("No one is single today - except for us") through hopeful ("I'm single...are you?") to outright aggressive ("Valentine's Day stinks!"). We fooled around the city for about two hours and fun was had by all. Although it was quite enjoyable, I sincerely hope that I won't be eligible for next year's Singles March ;-).
1 Prohibited where void.
2 It actually rhymes, is moderately funny, and makes sense in the original.