Who is skybluefusion? Where the hell did she come from? Level 4 and I’ve never seen them before!? How is this possible?
Well let’s start with explaining what this means.
skybluefusion~My given name is derived from Jennifer which derives from Guinevere which derives from gwen which means white, fair and hwyfar, which means smooth. Blue has become my name as a converging person. sky blue is a mixture of blue and white. Fusion comes from confusion, for I have spent much of my life in a state of confusion. It has a double meaning though, the other being fusion of selves into a functional being.
I actually had a really nice person, a noder of course, tell me today, “I admit, bluebird_is_sad was my choice of worst user name ever. LOL” True. It was bad. I admit it. I never said it was good. It was a complaint really. I didn’t get the name I’d wanted originally. He also said, “skybluefusion, now that is an awesome name, two thumbs up” Thank you.
I am working toward many changes in my life, and getting away from _is_sad is an important step for me.
I hope I have not caused any confusion for anyone. I am grateful to everyone who has supported me as bluebird_is_sad and beyond. I am extremely grateful to those who helped make this change happen.
E2 Article in News for Noders inspired me to write the following section. It is a modified version of what I sent her.
I recently had a conversation about why I spend so
much time on everything2.com. E2 is so many things.
I know it sounds silly, but I think everything2 can be
given at least partial credit for me even being alive.
How can a website be responsible for someone’s life?
Well, it’s not so much the site itself as the people
who populate it, and the opportunities it provides.
I have struggled with mental illness my whole life.
Online, especially through my writings on e2, I have
been able to open up about who I really am in ways
I’ve never been able to do elsewhere. What I’ve
received in return for my writing is amazing.
Friendship, compassion, understanding, gentle
criticism, love. Things that give life meaning.
Everything2 has worked for me on many levels. I use
it as a study tool, by letting me node my homework,and by letting me quickly search for information on
anything and everything. It provides me with a sense
of accomplishment. Every time I node something I feel
like I’ve accomplished something, I’ve shared my
knowledge. It has provided me with a sense of helping
others. I actively seek out “newbies” and offer my
assistance and several have taken me up on the offer.
It brings me great joy to help others. Most
importantly however, is the friendships this website
has helped me find. I have several friends, true
friends, who are fellow noders. None of which I would
have found if not for this site. Some of these people
I have spoken to on the phone. Others only through a
keyboard. E2 is filled with wonderful, caring,
intelligent people. I have shared things in my
writings on e2 and in my conversations with the
friends this site has brought me that I have never
told anyone face to face. Writing about such things
has allowed me to learn much about myself, and to
Everything2 really is a community. It is a very
supportive one at that.
Recently, someone I know
online, but not an everythingian, attempted to kill
herself. She came in the chatroom we are both
regulars in to say goodbye. We knew what she had
done, and did not want to lose her, and if she had
truly wanted to die she would not have let us know
what she had done. Of the few people in the chatroom
at the time, no one except myself and the person in trouble was within the United States. I
did not have access to a phone. The wonderful noders
came through. The catbox became a frenzy and my /msgs
poured in. This friend was retrieved by an ambulance
after a lovely noder called emergency services.
Although many people say I spend way too much time on
e2, I am content. I am learning. I am entertained.
I don’t care what people think.
I truly believe
everything2.com is a godsend to me.
2004.04.20 at 06:42 ac_hyper says I love the new username! It's lovely!
2004.04.20 at 07:06 bewilderbeast says re April 20, 2004: This was beautiful. e2 really is a community, isn't it.
2004.04.20 at 08:38 maiessa says re April 20, 2004: I'm so glad you've finally changed it. This is an inspiring entry. :)
2004.04.20 at 15:45 Stavr0 says re April 20, 2004: it's all here... http://ascorbic.net/catbox/
2004.04.20 at 15:51 Servo5678 says re April 20, 2004: E2 truly is a wonderous place. Congrats on the name change :-)
2004.04.20 at 15:57 69lovesongs says That's a beautiful name =)
2004.04.20 at 20:38 Berek says Good luck in your new incarnation! :o)
2004.04.20 at 21:37 Wntrmute says I guess this is kinda an honourary C! seeing as I don't actually have the power! Your daylog today very neatly captured a lot of my feelings about the support online environments like E2 can offer, and the sense of satisfaction that comes from trying to help others.
2004.04.20 at 23:45 JudyT says re April 20, 2004: Good name! Excellent name! :-)
2004.4.20@6:07 PM loquacious says re April 20, 2004: Gorgeous. Congrats.
2004.4.20@6:12 PM JohnnyGoodyear says Very lovely with extra blue bits of niceness. Well done.
2004.4.20@6:39 PM dutchess says re April 20, 2004: Good for you! And, me too! I don't spend as much time here as I used to, but I really think E2 can help keep a person sane. I'm with ya, sister! ; )By me too, I meant yeah, I share your feelings.