Mmm, professional sports. I must admit, I'm a sucker for watching basketball, but sometimes I wonder about the legitimacy of it all.

For example, when you simplify a sport, it becomes disturbingly silly.

Basketball: Put a ball in a hoop.
Golf: Hit a ball in a hole.
Baseball: Hit a ball and run around.
Tennis: Hit a ball until the other person can't hit it back.
Hockey: Put a puck in a net.
Soccer: Kick a ball in a net.
Boxing: Hit the other person until they fall down.

The list goes on, but you get the picture. So now that we realize how inherently dopey sports are, and that athletes get paid ridiculous sums of money for what they do, what can we do about it? Actually, there's not much you can do about it. Some are just more skilled at putting an object somewhere else than you are, therefore they get paid the big bucks and get served at fancy restaurants before you do. Some even get their faces on cereal boxes or Campbell's Soup. It's the hard life, I must say. They have my pity.