The effects of coffee and jazz on my tortured, chemistry-jarbled brain, late this night and early this morning:


the notes, they spin and spin

I can see their race in my brain

my mind spins and spins

I sit still

overstimulated

unable to point my laser beam at the bull's eye

as though every cell inside vibrates

every molecule of gas jerks so violently

at speeds that blur as I try to understand

let your fingers glide and dance byrd

they disturb the calm

and incite the revolution

yet it can never occur

because the fractals never stop spinning long enough to

move in any direction

and I never stop whirling

the rhythm of my pulse is frantic and unsure

while I live in a fog made of thousands of bright madly twinkling lights

ubiquitous complexity damns all journeys toward simplicity

and I dance in the infinite strings

all of it madly flowing and girating and spinning

and spinning

that which calms this heart and slows this beat

numbs this mind

and I yearn for more dizziness

let the chaos ensue and the entropy buzz through

the depths of the dark night

let the rattle rattle

let us homogenize and dehomogenize

all of it uneven for tiny fractions of time

and equilibriated all at once by blind assumption.

yet the sum never balances to me

and the screams from below and above and within will always be wild and unnamed

we tilt as we move

toward the untamed center

and away from it

disrupt the peace and invite the madness

it lives

and it hides

it fades in and out

but it is always waiting to be stirred

as I wait to be awoken.