Given that Mormonism
is a fundamentalist Christian
religion, there are a whole bunch of things you're not allowed to do: drink coffee
, have pre-marital sex
, smoke, lie, cheat, steal, etc. The list goes on and on
. You can't hardly go outside without committing a mortal sin
. Even so, there are some things Mormon
s are allowed to do.
Use Modern Conveniences: Contrary to the beliefs of a few morons, Mormons are not Amish. How the hell would I even be writing this? (Note: Mormons aren't supposed to swear, or insult others).
Dance: Sometimes I'm even surprised by this. It's actually a common youth activity at Mormon Churches. And, of course, Mormon teens will actually dance with each other at these things. Now, of course, you can't go around lusting for your dance partner.
Partake of Caffeine: Hell, I wrote a whole WU about that one.
Be Famous: There isn't actually a ban on being Mormon and famous. There's lots of famous Mormons. There's the Osmonds and, umm, the guy who invented the tv...err... Well, the lack of famous Mormons is the member's fault, not that of the Church.
Not go on a Mission: This isn't actually a sin or even "required". Women aren't even encouraged to go on missions. Of course, if you live in Utah and don't go on a Mission you'll be a social outcast!
Have only one wife: Most people are aware that the Church actually forbids polygamy now. Of course, it is basically a sin to not marry and have kids though.
Wear normal clothes: Mormons are encouraged to dress modestly but there isn't any real dress code. Mormon women are not the ones who always have long hair and long denim skirts. Oh, there is that whole funny underwear thing though...
Be Black: The other day in Church, the teacher for Gospel Doctrine (Sister Jennings, a blind black woman) told us a funny story. She was at her sister's house and a friend of the sister's stopped by who was a Jehovah's Witness. When Sister Jennings mentioned she was Mormon, the JW looked surprised and asked if "blacks could be Mormon". Sister Jennings thought about saying, "Yes, but they have to come in through the side door and sit in the back." She didn't say this though because she was afraid she would be believed. See Mormonism and Racism.
Be Rich: Actually, Mormons are quite good at this. The Church itself is like, totally loaded.
Hmm, well, that's a pretty sad list so far. I'll make sure to add more stuff to this as I think of it. (Note from years later: I never did)