Connect Four is a pretty tame game on its own. One night at a local coffee joint, my friend luminuxious and I modified the game significantly, coming up with a new beast known only as:


"Kung fu Connect Four?" you ask. "Kung fu Connect Four," I answer.


All standard Connect Four rules apply. The following rules are added in:

  1. Each turn must be completed within one second.
  2. Voluntary thought is not allowed, even if it fits within that time frame.
  3. Each move must be accompanied by an appropriate sound effect... namely, one of the following:
    • A martial arts-style scream ("hiiii-YA!" "MEN!" "hoooo!" etc.)
    • A punch or kick sound effect ("pfsfsth!")
    • A vocabulary word from a random East Asian language, screamed as loudly as possible ("MING!" "KACHI!" "NGUYET!" etc.)
  4. When the game is finished, the loser must leap from their seat, fall to the floor, and writhe in agony for a moment before getting back up and setting up the next game. The winner is allowed a mandatory period of dissing the loser.
  5. In the end, everyone wins.
Copious amounts of caffeine or hallucinogenic drugs are recommended for the best gameplay. Also, a crowd of innocent bystanders helps immensely.