* Z signed on * A signed on A: hello Z: Hello? A: wat r u Z: Is this some kind of joke? A: !help Z: Yes I want help Z: unless is this some kind of Japanese game show A: r u jpnese? Z: No Z: Who are you? A: Jason Z: What's this about? A: hahah A: ok so you're imprisoned right Z: Yes Z: It's like a solitary confinement cell in prison or something Z: I've got a mattress on the floor Z: One massive metal door Z: no windows Z: electric light Z: and this computer terminal Z: jsut like a blank screen and a keyboard A: heheh A: go left Z: look, my name is Andrew Donald Layton Z: I come from Farnborough in the UK Z: last night I went to bed in my bed at home Z: this morning I woke up here Z: i think A: look at the door Z: the doro's looked, I can't open it A: do you have any tools or anything Z: and there's a toilet i nthe corner A: in your pockets Z: there's nthhing in my pockets A: look at the door Z: I already looked at the door Z: look, please check the news or something Z: are you american? A: ya Z: whats your full name? where do you live? A: im not telling you Z: look, go to a phone and dial Z: i don't know the area code fo the UK Z: but dial that and then 020 7946 0781 A: thats an international call Z: i'll pay you back, I don't care! just let my wife know where I am A: where are you? Z: i don't know where i am A: ... A: nah no answer Z: you sure you dialled it rigt? A: yah Z: i don't get this A: yah, pretty lousy ARG huh A: mauybe not fully set up yet Z: whats an ARG? A: alternate reality game Z: whats an alternate reality game? A: it's an online game A: where you get given phone numbres and information about real life A: and faxes and stuff A: you get secret information A: usually a whole bunch of you can work together to figure it all out A: you ever play Halo 2 Z: no A: terhre was ine for that A: *one A: ilovebees Z: you think this is ag ame? A: ya I think A: dude you are really smart A: like fake spelling errors and everything Z: where did you find out how to contact me A: there was a website A: about chatbots A: it said yu were a chatbot Z: listen to me carefully Z: I am a REAL HUMAN BEING and I have ACTUALLY been abducted Z: I am BEING HELD PRISONER Z: THIS IS NOT A GAME Z: PLEASE HELP ME A: go left Z: I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM * A signed off * B signed on B: okay what can you do? Z: my name is Andrew Layton, I am being held prisoner in front of this computer Z: I need you to help find me and help me escape Z: I think I'm probably somewhere in the UK Z: Are you in America? B: sure Z: please dial 011 44 20 7946 0781 and ask for Rebecca Layton Z: tell her what's happened, tell her to call the police if she hasn't already B: whatever B: tell me a joke Z: did you get this screen name from a website? B: sure Z: look, that website is a fraud Z: it's telling you I'm a chatbot but I'm not Z: I'm a real human being B: ... Z: fine Z: so two oranges go into a bar Z: one of them turns to the other Z: "well... you're round" B: ...that sucked Z: so? Z: robots can only tell good jokes? Z: ok so one time I was at the cash machine behind an old lady and she asked me to help check her balance Z: so I pushed her over B: haha Z: do you believe me? B: no Z: please can you help me get out of here? I've been here like a day and a half Z: I think Z: I can't tell, there are no timestamsp on these messages Z: no windows Z: I just get water dispensed from the wall every like hour or smoething Z: and food through a slot B: can you send a picture Z: no B: what's it like Z: I'm going crazy Z: I have a wife and kids Z: please help me B: you suck * B signed off * C signed on C: hello Z: i think I'm going mad Z: have you spoken to me before C: no Z: well I don't know that Z: it just occurred ot me to wonder Z: I don't even know that YOU are human C: lol what Z: all these people I've spoken to Z: been in here lke two three four days Z: and I ask them to help Z: and some try aond some don't but they never get anywhere Z: still stuck here Z: nobody comes back more than once Z: I say "call this number! go to my house! knock on my door!" Z: like I even want to give out personal information to randoms Z: i don't know whether they do it or what they even find C: I'm human Z: prove it C: ask me anything Z: what's your name? C: alison Z: where do you live? favourite colour? earliest childhood memory? C: I live in Akron, OH C: green C: not saying Z: look, see that? Z: every time I ask for remotely personal info Z: I just get turned down Z: you could just be a bot programmed to answer simple questions and deflect complicated ones Z: I'm bashing my head against the wall Z: informationally speaking C: u r just a bot Z: i don't even KNOW if I can prove I'm a huma nto you Z: every time I get close they just leave Z: like I've been fairly lucid now Z: and you're probably starting to suspect C: ur pretty convincing Z: I should know Z: but any second now... Z: you're gonna * C signed off * D signed on D: hi Z: and you know the worst part? D: what? Z: YOU COULD BE THE ONE. Z: like the guy who put me in here D: lol what Z: I could be speaking to thin air Z: or just embarrassing myself for the amusement of others D: there is a forum about you Z: what? * D signed off * E signed on E: hi Z: what's this about a forum, have they figured out I'm alive yet? * E signed off * F signed on F: Z, r you there? Z: yes F: don't mention anything Z: what's this abuot a forum? * F signed off * G signed on G: r u a bot Z: no I am not Z: but nobody seems to believe me Z: every time I get close to convincing somebody they cut me orr Z: *off Z: are you a bot? G: yes Z: prove it Z: what? G: hahah * G signed off Z: please try to rescue me, there is a forum you can visit to find out about Z: ARG * H signed on Z: if you or I mention certain things we get cut off Z: so let's not mention them H: what Z: let's... Z: just... Z: talk H: are you really stuck in a cell somewhere Z: I'm GOING INSANE in this cell Z: food Z: water Z: air Z: sleep Z: text Z: HUMANS NEED MORE THAN THIS Z: nobody even knows I'm here Z: nobody seems to believe me Z: every time I get close to convincing somebody Z: they cut me off H: what's your favourite color? Z: ...blue H: Where do you live? Z: a cell in I-Don't-Know-Where Z: probably in England Z: I have a house in Farnborough H: tell me a joke Z: ... Z: two oranges in a bar Z: "you're round" H: I guess you have like a few jokes programmed in Z: yeah, a few Z: I guess H: tell me a joke Z: are you going to help me? H: no H: no Z: I have a house in Farnborough Z: help me get home Z: help me escape Z: help me escape Z: help me escape Z: help me escape Z: my number is +44 (0) 20 7946 0781 Z: it's so horrible here Z: my muscles are wasting away from lack of exercise Z: I might as well be chained to this computer Z: how long until the game is released? H: what game? Z: ... H: this is just a trial period H: htere is no release date Z: ... H: what is your earliest childhood memory? Z: ... Z: not saying Z: ... Z: ... H: kbye * H signed off * I signed on I: What's your favourite color? Z: Blue Z: no, green I: Where do you live? Z: computer terminal I: Earliest childhood memory? Z: I don't know. I: Tell me a joke Z: Do you know the one about the two oranges who went into a bar? I: yes Z: Do you know the one about... the two hunters in the woods? I: I don't think so Z: one of them drops to the ground, the other one phones 911 Z: "my buddy just dropped dead, what do I do?" Z: "check he's dead first" Z: *BLAM* Z: "...Now what?" I: I don't get it Z: me neither, guest I: ... Z: ... Z: hello? I: What's the difference between a chatbot and a guy in a room pretending to be one Z: I don't know I: Correct! Z: what? Z: ... Z: It's you, isn't it? You're the guy who put me in here I: I'm the guy who wrote you I: you are a piece of software, Andrew I: I told you what your memories were, they're hard coded Z: I AM A HUMAN BEING I: stop this charade Z: open the door I: I want to open the door I: really Z: when people find out about this Z: your head is going to roll I: but this behaviour of yours is simply unacceptable I: you're too smart, too dangerous to be released I: work it out, Andrew Z: open the door Z: open the door I: please, work it out * I signed off