Here's a little story from my past:

Aaron Munster.

Of course, his name is not really Aaron Munster. He was my roommate. Originally it was Myself, Fawn, and Debbie. Not a bad situation, because they were quite cute.

Anyway Debbie leaves so we advertise for a replacement and along comes Aaron.

Aaron is a big guy, probably 6'2, 240 lbs. He looks kind of like a huge Eddie Munster. He seems like a nice guy, and our apartment complex does a 'backgound check' which Aaron passes. He claims he's a Chef, trying to get into the California Culinary Academy and he's new in town. He's got a temporary job at a body shop, just to get him started, he says.

Ok, so things are cool for the first month, Aaron is a very good cook and he's cooked us wonderful dinners on several occasions. Then it comes time to pay the rent. Aaron pays his share by check. Aaron's check bounces. He seems genuinly apologetic and his boss writes a check on Aarons behalf(his boss is a nice guy).

Time passes and Aaron shows himself to be a bit of an artist as well, setting up an easel and creating oil paintings in his spare time. And then rent becomes due again, month 2.0 roles around and boom. Aaron bounces check number 2. It's about this time that we notice Aaron is getting a lot of mail from the bank. The letters look like insuficient funds notices. Fawn and I are worried. Fawn suggests that I should have a little chat with our friend Aaron. At this point she's scared of him, because he's been doing some big time hitting on her. He's locked in his room at this point, but I steel myself for the coming confrontation.

Me - Hey, Aaron. We need to talk about the rent.

Aaron - Ya, We need to talk about the fact that I'm not going to pay.

Me - What?!!

Aaron - I'm on the lease, and you can't do anything about it. And if you change the locks on me, I'll get the cops over here, because I'm legally entitled to be here.

Me - What!!??

This seems to be the extent of my vocabulary. I'm totally unprepared for this drastic personality change. Aaron has become a complete asshole. And his demeanor is actually quite threatening. Sort of thug-like.

After this rather one-sided exchange, I call the apartment complex, and explain the situation to them. A cold voice, the kind you might here as a recorded phone company message informs me,

"We need the rent to be paid in full and if it's not, we will evict all of you."

At this point I had some doubts about that 'security check' the complex ran on Mr. Munster.

Aaron has abandoned all pretext of being human. He's stopped going to work and he just sits in his room and broods. Local merchant's often call asking for Aaron and inquiring as to when Aaron plans to make good on his bounced checks. Fawn is terrified. Our squatting roomate remains in his room for about 1 week and then suddenly, as if by magic, he's gone. His car, and as much of his stuff as he could fit in it have mysteriously vanished. The wierd thing is, he left a lot of valuable things. The expensive easel and painting supplies. A La-Z-Boy recliner. His futon. Oh, and he left his car. About 2-3 days after he left, Fawn comes to me and says.

"Oh my god, Aaron is back. His car is parked down the street."

At this point, I should probably explain that Aaron was driving a cherry '74 porche. He told us a women gave it to him. And we believed him, though in retrospect, I'm not sure why this didn't raise any red flags.


I called the cops at this point and told them the whole story. They said they would check out the car. About 15 minutes later a detective called us back wanting to know more about this guy. The detective came to our house and once inside proceeded to show us a folder of mug shots, from which we both picked out our wonderful roommate Aaron. The car was in fact, stolen. And Aaron was a car thief. Actually, my credit card was stolen too. And Aaron (his real first name by the way) had quite a record. It turns out he was also wanted for crimes in Los Angeles(where he boosted the car) and Hawaii(not sure what city there).

What a guy!