Another wasted day
. That's what it feels like. All week I had been looking forward to the weekend
and now that it's come I am wishing for the week. I am wishing to be back in that crappy office with my irritating co-workers. Go figure
. I had planned to do so many things this weekend. I would do them alone, I told myself. But in reality there's now little motivation
to go do them. It's not that great to do things alone, especially when they're things that aren't meant to be done alone. I can walk alone. I just don't want to.
Is that so bad? No, it isn't. I'm human for everything's sake
At least I got some reading done. Not much studying done, but I don't feel so bad about that. I realized something the other day, though. I used to bitch and moan
about not having any friends, totally boggle
d on why I had no friends. It's amazing I never saw it before, why the answer has never crept into my mind. I have no friends because I have never been a friend. Sheesh
, how could I have not even realized that? I feel like I've been so blind to everything around me because I've been so self involved. No wonder I've been standing in the same place
for years, not moving.
So, I've been trying to be a friend to those who have in the past been friends to me but who I got angry with for various stupid reasons
. And it makes me happy. It's a more healthy kind of selfish