An alternative theory on why we exist

If you read too many books and watch too many movies that fuck with your head, you eventually come up with some crazy thoughts. Some people come up with crazy thoughts on their own. But not me (*cough*). So anyway, I'm sitting on the train and my brain is full of chatter and it's coming up with a crazy thought. I'm thinking about space expanding and what is on the other side of expanding space - I mean, it's filling something isn't it? Well, no, there's nothing there - nothing is becoming something - a concept that can be quite difficult to wrap your noodles around (go ahead, consider it for a moment). So in the same train of thought (sic), I consider why we exist. To work out why we exist, you must consider why everything else that we know exists.

So let's look at what we know. Long ago, the universe shat itself and created a whole load of planets, stars, cosmic dust, a massive void called "space" and this thing called "time". We don't really know much about what's going on in the universe, unless it's on our planet. Our life forms are based on carbon and water and have evolved over millions of years. Ask yourself this, why did things start off? Why did the dinosaurs evolve? Why did monkeys evolve into homo sapiens?

One theory that I've been considering is that we part of a cosmic game. We're being tested. And maybe one day we'll be hunted. Suppose for a second, that time in our universe is different to that of another dimension. Millions of years could pass in an instant in another dimension. The first lifeforms on our planet could've been part of an alien grow bag. They cultured our world, they created the first life forms as experiments. Then came the dinosaurs. They were fun - great big strong beasts running around all over the place. Sure, not all of them were small, but the big ones had to eat and this was one of the first alien experiments into natural selection. They modelled dinosaur brains on their own brains but made them too stupid - hunting those guys was fun, but it wasn't a challenge. After a couple of million years, the aliens got fed up with them and wiped them all out. Then they started an ice age to start over again.

With the planet "cleansed", they started again. This time they created creatures with brains more similar to their own - except with a genetic defect that prevented them using the full capacity of their brain. This would prevent them becoming too smart, too quickly - allowing them to develop gradually. Ever wondered why only monkeys got smart? We were always supposed to. Our brains were engineered to get smarter. Other creatures, are, unfortunately, food for us, or food for our food. Watching humans develop was an experience - the language, the cultures, the education, their physiology, the destructive wars, their need to destory, and inevitably, kill. Every so often, they'd swipe a couple of samples and see how they were developing.

We'll keep developing, we'll keep making discoveries. Unravelling DNA, unleashing the full capacity of our brain, all of us becoming Newtons and Einsteins! Imagine the posibilities!