Students are bad, mmkay.
At
cash machines, why do you have to stare at your
bank balance for so long? You're
broke, deal with it.
The
pub/
bar opens at 11am. Every day.
No need to queue.
Last orders MEANS last orders. No, you can't sleep in the pub/bar. Get out.
When viewing student accomodation why do you believe anything the landlord/viewing agent says? They're
agents of Satan. Do not believe them.
When you do eventually get your
degree, the world DOES NOT owe you a living. Get off your
arse, out of your parents house, and find yourself a
job.
If you're lucky enough to be asked to an
interview, put a suit on you
monkey! DON'T turn up in jeans and a t-shirt.
If you've gotta chew
gum, put it in a bin when you're done instead of spitting on the
pavement or slapping it on the bus seat.
Why do you think you're always right? Your degree DOES NOT make you right. Shuttup and listen to the voice of
experience.
I like fun. Students like fun. I like
beer. Students like beer. I do not like loud obnoxious students having fun drinking beer. Students like being loud and obnoxious drinking beer and call it fun. Gits.
Do you think the world laughs along with your stupid college pranks? Do ya? Punk.
"Oh, you've got a degree...in...The Rise and Fall of Hats circa 1932." Brilliant.
On buses, why do you need to call your friend and spend the rest of the bus journey telling them about how poor you are and how your best friend cheated on you while you were throwing up on your £300 dress at a party. And then play all your ring tones - just incase your mobile phone manufacturor has secretly added one whilst you were on the phone. Do it at home.
You think you've got life hard? Try a job. A
house.
Kids. And a
wife! 9 hours of
lectures a week? That's gotta hurt!
Jealous now I've graduated? Me? Pfff :p ...never ;)
Inspired by my journey to work this morning.