I went to that cheese party because I knew he'd be there.

I met him a week ago. My roomate saw one of her hometown friends through a glass window and we decided to go inside. He was there, and I smiled. I met him once before, and I knew that he didn't remember me. My downfall is that I remember everything and everyone. Then everyone made a big deal about me wearing a red shirt, wearing a red shirt to an anti-Stanford rally was a Cal capital offense! Hey, I like red, and besides, I just woke up. He said that he was going to tell everyone and get me thrown out. My kind of humor.

We sat next to each other and talked sporadically. My roomate walked slightly ahead so we could talk on the way home. He said he would come and visit sometime, and I shrugged. Would be nice, but didnt matter one way or the other. Then a couple days later my roomate told me that her hometown friend was having a cheese party that night. Free food, and I was pretty sure he would be there. One problem: the perfect guy that lives 3000 miles away was coming to visit that night and that night only. Hmmm, well I had a couple hours before he was supposed to arrive, but ended up hanging out with the other guy all night so....it wasnt meant to be with the far away guy. I was trying to be realistic instead of idealistic for once.

There are some things that bother me about him. Or, rather, Im not sure I can relate to. For one, he's jewish. And since I barely know anything about that, I probably will gravely offend him sooner or later. And he's diabetic, which I just feel bad about. And he's slightly fruity. I know its not a good sign when you want to change some things about a person before you even really get to know them.

However, he makes me laugh. I had some fun with him while everyone left a little early for thanksgiving break. Now Im here all alone, and thinking about whether or not I even want to like him. I dont want a relationship and someone liking me scares me. I dont like being liked, Im used to being abused (emotionally) remember? He called me beautiful and all I could do was laugh. Sigh. He had an away message up, it said something about him having to cook something and he would be back soon. And for some reason I thought that it was adorable that he would be cooking at three in the morning. Is this the start of something?