Continued from yesterday's daylog June 1,2002

Jarett came to get me for the movies, and I did everything to make sure I looked my absolute best. He looked good too, that soft gray Banana Republic jacket made me want to melt. Just my luck, when we got there, we saw Ethan sitting outside, with a girl I knew he was using to make me jealous. He shouted some cute comment, and I blushingly rushed inside.

It was the weirdest movie I had ever seen, Mullholland Drive. Perfectly suited for the occasion I suppose. I think Jarett took me because there was a lesbian scene, but Ill never be sure of that. Ethan was waiting for us after the movie, because he awkwardly came up to us and asked if Jarett would be at the frat house later. Ethan wanted to "talk" to him, and I wanted to kill Ethan. Or run away, because Jarett would certainly find out that Ethan was still my boyfriend and Ethan would find out that I went on a lunch date with Jarett earlier that day. There was no way out of it, I was screwed.

So Jarett walked me home, and he was quiet most of the time. I gave him the Cal beanie I promised him when we got to my room, and then as soon as he left I made a dash for the phone to call Ethan. I begged him to not talk to Jarett, but he said it was too late because he was already at the frat house. Damn him and his stubborn tendencies! I felt sick because I had absolutely no control over what was going to happen next. So I made Ethan promise to call me as soon as he talked to Jarett, and he did. He came over and after much arguing I broke up with him, again. He wasn't very happy about this, and ripped apart a bear that he gave me as a result. I cried, and he said that he only did it to know that I still cared. He did sew it back together for me, and that bear is symbolic of our relationship, in retrospect.

Eventually I sent Ethan home and immediately called Jarett. I tried to explain the whole situation with Ethan to him since I knew that he would not be too happy that I tried to go on a date with him while I still had a boyfriend. Unlike with Ethan, I actually told Jarett the truth, which was that I liked him(Jarett) but I didnt know how to deal with Ethan, but that I did finally break up with him, supposedly for good. Jarett somehow forgave me, but I could tell it wasnt going to be that easy with him.

To be continued...