It would have been mine and his anniversary today, I just realized this a second ago. I think this every 18th of a month, no matter how long it's been. It saddens me, because now we are not even friends. It's funny how many things can change in such a short amount of time. In the past two months, I've acquired a new best friend, lost the boy that I've come closest to loving, met a boy that might make me forget, stopped hanging out with the group of friends that I had, and learned a lot about myself. It gives me hope and pains me all the same. People and circumstance can be so fickle, but sometimes this can be a good thing if these things need to be changed.

I had to lay out the newspaper for my school today. I'm the news editor, which I thought was going to be cool but is just plain uncomfortable and strenuous. He is also an editor, the art editor at that so he doesn't actually need to be there. I think it's just to torture me. I am almost done with my page, it is amazing how fast something can get done if one wants to get it over with.

I get to talk to Dr. Rodgers again. Professional help attempt two. Although this time it is different, this time it is with him. It is my last chance to try to fix our friendship, because if professional help can't fix us I don't know what can. I'm sorry that it has come down to this. We had something special, and he is throwing it away. I can't seem to deal with this, even though I know it is over. I have a feeling this metting we have tomorrow will be futile, but I have to do it anyway. I need to show him that I'm not a bad person and I'm capable of just friendship.