I'm sitting here avoiding the essay. The essay, that if written halfway decently, could possibly get me into Stanford
. It's supposed to be about a person that I would like to be for a period of time, fictional
. I first thought about Newton
, wish I could have invented calculus
..Then I thought about Louis XIV
, he ruled France
for a good long time and got to build that pretty palace (Versailles
). Why are all my choices men? Maybe I want to be one so I can avoid having to be with one. Maybe I should just write that I would be anyone than myself, because thats how I feel right now. Not feeling too good about life
, but hey I'll get over it
Nothing interesting happened today, this guy who is two years younger than me thinks I'm hot and thinks he has a chance with me. I get to meet him tomorrow, if he's cute maybe. I'm horribly shallow, I don't care, it's better than pretending to be in love.
I'm trying to restore a friendship with him and I don't know if it's going to work. It's too hard, being with him and not wanting him, I can't want him because he doesn't want me. He makes that quite clear. I don't understand him at all, maybe that's why I like him, something for me to figure out. I like that kind of stuff. Although it's not very easy to turn people into equations, I found this out the hard way.