Here's a possible change in the formula; made up during looong nights studying the DSMIV, Abnormal Psychology and other such fun college things.

Obligatory Warnings: May kick your tastebuds and stomach like a mule on steroids. Will cause an extreme need to empty the bladder a few hours after use. Not recommended if you're not a fan of extreme twitching

Take two to four premade shots of espresso, one half cup of Mt. Dew about three to four scoops of instant coffee, and some water joe, sweet sweet caffinated water.

As randir suggests, let the dew sit and get flat, it doesn't take long, trust me. Get yourself a nice big glass, something that you can hold with violently shaking hands Then add it to the espresso, slowly in case the carbonation decides to react violently; if this happens, you've got to wait a while to let it settle back down. Once the espresso and dew are allowed to mellow a bit. Next add the instant coffee (you may or may not want to use the type with lots of savory flavor, depending on the numbness of your tastebuds) Now, add the water joe so your beverage isn't thicker than Guinness Extra Stout. If inclined, add sugar or other taste altering substances. Mix some more. Drink slowly, shotgunning is NOT a good idea.

You may be able to get it all down in a quick sitting, but if not it can sit for a little while, it tastes the same hot or cold. In about thirty minutes you'll be a happy, caffinated little person, tearing around the room like a rabid ferret