Today, I was at a rock concert I didn't neccesarily want to be at. But I went, because I was asked, and I'm afraid of losing the friendship that I used to have with the person who asked me to go. But I'm not hear to talk about waning friendships, as I've learned that it is just an inevitable part of life, and getting older.

It was the last set of the show, the headlining act was in peak form. And for some reason, I was distracted by a couple. I don't think I've ever seen such a public display of affection before, and I could not stop watching them. I knew that they wouldn't notice, so I didn't have the "Don't let them think you're the creep you probably are" feeling running through my head. It was a strange spectacle, and I think I was the only person in the entire place who noticed them. So in love. Completely oblivious to everything beyond that perfect moment that they found themselves in. Complete awe, until they broke their embrace, and our attentions turned back to the concert. But that horrible sense of lonliness, and self-pity that usually accompanies such things was strangely absent. A sign of getting older? Or just that I have deadend myself to one of the last few things that could make me feel any emotion at all?

Later that night, my friend and I were driving his friends home, and one of them said something that has struck me like a moving car...

"School is the biggest coast of your life"

It started me thinking, "Is he right? Am I completely turned around on the subject? What am I going to do after school?" Thus causing me to re-evaluate all the choices I am making, and will have to make. But still making me feel like I've failed, before I've even had a chance to begin.

Also bringing me to this self-depreciating state, Lisa came onto MSN Instant Messenger and told me she was sorry for not being a better friend, and hopes we can become what we once were.

I hope she's right.