Made by Taco Bell, $.99

get yours now - they aren't in for the long run.

Let me give you my general impression of these things, step by step. First, I should tell you that I've long been a fan of Taco Bell because they produce good food. I like them not because they produce Mexican food, because they don't. I like them not because they produce healthy or nutritious food, because they don't. I like Taco Bell because they make food that tastes good, and because they pay their employees reasonably well. (Contrast McDonalds)

So I'm standing in line at Taco Bell, and it's 7 PM or thereabouts. So I decide to try one of these things - hell, they're cheap, and they look much like the beloved, much-improved Bean Burritos I love. And then I notice that, whoa, dude, those have cheese sauce and shredded cheese on them. That's kind of weird. I order this thing and a few other things and haste me back to my apartment across the street from Chauncey Hill Plaza. I dash in, plop down in my beanbag chair, open up the wrapper on this thing and OH MY GOD-

This thing is not a Cheesy Bean and Rice Burrito! This thing is a fucking Cheesy Cheese and Cheese Burrito!

The cheese sauce or whatever it is is running, dashing, squirting out of this monstrosity, and of course, there's also the shredded cheese down in there somewhere, too. I'm thinking, "Okay. So maybe just a little too much cheese on the top." So after getting cheese everywhere, I finish this thing and note, I note with consternation, my noble and hopefully-not-faint-of-heart audience, that the overabundance of cheese goes all the way down to the bottom of this thing. You just can't even taste the other ingredients! If I didn't tell you about them, you would have no idea what they were, were you too eat one of these yourself. You would look at me and say, "What is this you have served me, sir? Is it a cheese quesadilla? Is it a grilled cheese sandwich in the guise of a burrito? Is it a six-cheese pizza with extra cheese and no pizza? I demand immediately to know what sort of foolishness this is!"

And you would be right.

I will note for posterity that I have, since noding this, been contacted by two(2) noders noting that they thought the food item was balanced and delicious, implying that there was not too much cheese. I will buy and consume another one soon for verification, but I should note for my own sake that I bought the item in the first place with the intent of noding it - I did not node it after discovering the overabundance of cheese - thus, the intent of this node was to protray the product accurately, and I will assume for now that my attempt at honesty was thwarted by a cheese-overzealous employee of Taco Bell, rather than that I have some form of cheese-paranoia, or a strange mental block of beans and rice. I will note with some sadness that I did actually notice the tomatos to a small degree, and failed to make such clear during the first writing. Apologies go to all those who have been misinformed.

Burrito The Second

The second burrito, as predicted, was a well balanced experience of very high calories and too much hot sauce on my part. I will leave the above writeup, but it should be noted that I have since recanted my viewpoint that all Cheesy Bean & Rice Burritos have too much cheese.

The Ingredients

These are the actual ingredients of the food item:

  • Spanish rice
  • Beans
  • Nacho cheese sauce
  • Three other cheeses (shredded)
  • "Salsa" (Diced tomatos, onions, herbs)
  • Optionally, beef ($1.49), chicken, or steak ($1.99)