I woke up at 6:30 this morning. I never do that. Well, not this summer, at least. My alarm rings [beep beep], I wake up [rustle rustle] and try unsuccessfully [miss- miss- whack] to cause the alarm a violent death. I then realize that I am awake [blink blink] and I don't want to be asleep anymore. It occurs to me I went to bed a little before 10 last night, and I was tired. My legs ache a little; it must be from tennis the night before.

This doesn't seem so grossly odd, I'm sure. But I rarely get to sleep, especially lately, in less than 2-3 hours. I know I'm not one of those people who has it 'really bad' and just can't sleep at all, but I have my nights.

People talk about being afraid of the dark. People don't usually talk about being afraid of getting abducted by aliens. Not seriously. Not, "I'm afraid of snakes." "Really? I'm afraid of aliens." I tend to not talk about it, except when I think people will 'understand' that I'm either kidding or exaggerating, like when I talk about killing people and hiding the body parts which I don't do. But that's the way it is for me, every night of my life. And when I get distracted from the aliens by the emotional tangle I'm in (It's great, I'll tell you about it someday. I'll write a book. I'll make a movie.) it gets worse. It's just sort of an odd feeling in my gut that I can't get rid of.

I feel like I'm getting better, which is a good thing, because college is about to start back up. That's where most of this came from. I'll tell you about that sometime, too.