There are times when the world amazes me. There are times when the world seems right.
Kelly is in Spokane right now, or rather probably in northern Idaho, approaching Spokane. She is on the train from Minnesota back home to Oregon. I have not talked to her since Thursday, but I know where she is. She has been talking about coming home, and now it is real. Wednesday she was 3000km away, and I talked to her on the phone. In 11 hours, 40 minutes, she will be here and I will give her a hug. The magic of communication. The magic of time. I know what is going to happen. Why does this make me feel real?
I love you, Kelly.
The strobe light was on, and we were jumping. Phil was in the air, or he wasn't, and both of these states lasted considerable amounts of time. Matthias carried me, and I was in the air as the world got choppy. I was in a movie. The dog walked around (i wonder how he liked it?), and it was intermittent joy all around.
A few days ago I was riding my bike in Sellwood. There was a man standing in the middle of the street, playing guitar. His dalmatian was standing in the middle of the street next to him.
Phil needs cocaine.
She's drunk. She's so funny when she's drunk. Is she okay? Mmn-hmm, she says. It's a window into a different person, but much the same. Why should this happen? Why are we restrained?
He's like a nervous sheep-dog at parties. He's afraid that people are going to wander off and get eaten by wolves. I am bad at parties, but not this one. I love these people. They are my people. I feel good.
They're sitting in a chair, her arms around his torso. Affection. So many of them around me, around us, all different, all amazing, all wonderful. I want to squeeze them all until I have shown them how good they are. I am happy so much that I cry.
Boom! Who is that, and are you okay? Oh. Hi. That's my toe. "A couple of them." Snuzzled around my leg.
"I'm not an alpha male." "I don't know, you're pretty out there." "I consider myself an omega male."
I sat out on the porch. It was rain and it is SPRING! and it's time for it to smell like world. I could see big to the Tualatin Valley and the hills. It was nighttime in my nose, with grass and trees. Soon it would have flowers too. Earlier I saw the English village. I had searched for it before. I knew where it was, but I couldn't find it. He showed me where it is, and another lost place was found. I understand the world by place and location; I know where it is and it all makes sense. I know where I am.
Still snuzzled on my leg. It sounds like she's purring. Humans! People! Love.