is a chain of German laundromat
s where I have spent many an unhappy hour among devices designed by Satan
himself. Schnell & Sauber means fast
. Yes, this place will clean you out, fast.
Thoughtfully, the vending machine which distributes the smart card
s (required by all the washing machines) works in three language
. Unfortunately, the posters
on the wall, the washing machines
themselves, the dryer
s and the powder vending machine
are only in German.
If that weren't quite bad enough
, the user interface was designed by an evil genius
to be incomprehensible to even German-speakers. When the screen displays the words "eject card," this means "insert money to add to the value of your card, then eject card." When the machine
is out of cards, the "issue new card
" option disappears completely. Was it ever really there?
. When there is no washing powder
available, your card will still be deducted the 50 pfennig
for the powder, but nothing will happen. Is that washing machine is out of order
? It costs 4 Deutsche mark
s to find out. If a dryer is kaputt
and running cold
, you still get charged, but you have to wait 40 minutes to find out.
Oh yeah, and never put more than 10 marks on your card
, because the cards tend to fail after about 5 uses. At least "checksum error
" is something I can understand!