For some time I've been teasing friends with secrets of life which should not be revealed to a young child:

  1. There is no such thing as your permanent record - particularly in reference to threats by teachers.
  2. You know why they say never take candy from strangers? It's cause they always got candy!
  3. Promising to never smoke tobacco is not the same as promising to never smoke.
  4. There is no Santa Claus.