When the telephone pierces a sleep still recovering from early roommate motions, when a construct finance bent plies on problems to solve. Then this morning brings me to a state half dream moving through the world, solutions in place with too long out for return to bed. Walking without feeling the ground, pressure senses numb only acute in light and sound. Brief contact and the engine starts, pushing gently on the cassette the tapedeck will sense and pull it in for playing, sounds roll out, tandem with a starting motion. Hours, minutes, unclear. The passage sensually slow though moving with great speed and this is the best way, to feel forever in small moments. The lightest vertigo swaying sitting here behind me sun bending a field deep in tall grass with its play on pressures and wind currents. There are small almost maroon edgings near the top of each stalk it is near going to seed for growth another year counting. Wondering this moment when the world is so perfectly soft with still such acuity to bend me under the weight of beauty, wondering maybe is this the same world that crushes a spirit lets a life live in pain? Thinking it knows no difference our crude interactions find favorable conditions to our thirsty nature and wonder why things cannot always be what we want. Lamenting when wants clash with offerings, we must drink deeply when things are well to maintain.