I was riding around city streets late at night or early in the morning, whichever you would prefer. Four of us are crammed into the backseat of a not-so-large two door, we're laughing, getting lost, teasing each other, and laughing some more. I focus on the streetlights and realize that I'm going to look back on this time in my life as one of the most amazing I have lived through. When I look back years from now, I'm not going to remember the hurt, the scars, the boys who used, or being driven to the extremes of emotions, I'm going to remember this. Being happy, safe, and comfortable in a car full of people who I consider to be family.

I didn't realize then what I realized now, that these nights could be over sooner than I realize, that far too many people lived the last weekend of their lives as I was thinking those thoughts. I took it all for granted, but something has happened that could change all our lives forever. As the news of Tuesday's events sunk in, I remember thinking as I looked up at a plane make a complete loop in the sky, heading back toward the airport, that things would never be the same. At first I thought I might just be paranoid, but the more I think about it, the more I know I was right.

We've lost thousands of family, friends, children...people who were innocent, civilians murdered senselessly. We've all lost our innocence now. As crazy as it may seem for a country with horrible rates of violent crimes, murders and other horrific acts filling our news channels on a daily basis to be considered innocent, it was nothing compared to this latest violence. For I've never before woken up and found that the world changed while I was in the shower.

These were some of the best nights of my life.

The thought was a requiem, a memorial before I knew that there was anything to mourn. Only to discover two days later that there was more to mourn than I could have possibly imagined.