Do you ever feel like you want to commit
suicide, but just not die? Like, go through with it and wind up perfectly safe and sound afterward? I'd love to jump off of a really tall building and just walk away from the crash. But if I ever were to commit suicide, I'd have to slit my wrists in a
bathtub. It sounds like the most dignified way to go. Have a
glass of
wine, slowly slice your wrists with a razor blade, sit back and watch your life leave your body. Not that I would ever do something like that, I'm way too
emotionally healthy for it and I'm not into
permanent solutions to permanent problems.
Seriously though, there is nothing worse than that numb feeling. I think it's mostly because when you're numb, you're sad but you can't cry about for some reason. When I feel it, I lay in my bed and want to do all kinds of crazy-ass shit. Maybe I should snort some coke or something, THAT should make me feel alive. I would cut myself, but that's just psychotic and I don't want the scars.
Do these feelings ever stop coming as you get older? I got over that adolescent depression thing, maybe this is something that comes and goes with age as well...