Pop music proves that there is in fact a hell because of one factor: Britney Spears's boobs. It's obvious that she made a deal with the devil in which she sold her soul for gigantic tits and a flat stomach, allowing her the benefits of people talking about her body (thus creating a buzz, this increasing album sales) and still being able to deny having breast implants. Other pop artists, following Britney's lead, made pacts with the devil to advance their careers as well. The Backstreet Boys sold their collective souls for the devil to create their "Larger than Life" video. N*Sync sold their souls in order to keep their album, No Strings Attached, on the Billboard charts for a small eternity.

This has to be the truth. How else do you explain such mediocre acts who don't even write their own songs selling millions of albums and performing to sold-out crowds?

But you may ask, "What does the devil have to gain from all of this?" The answer is simple...when said pop stars die and go to hell, the devil will demand peformances from them to torture the souls of the damned throughout eternity with off-key harmonies, corny lyrics, and bad dancing.